It's Out With The Old... Bye 2018
2018 WHAT A SHIT SHOW, 2019 BRING IT ON.
Well what a crazy year it’s been, let’s look back on friendships, thee old the new, mental health, happiness and just in general the person I was and the person I am becoming. One of my close friends recently shared a quote on facebook “I’m slowly becoming the person I want to be.” This taught me a lot about what this year has been like, why it’s changed me and how I am slowly becoming the person I have only ever wanted to be. Over the past 12 months I’ve had friendships that have fallen apart, friendships that hurt me an ripped me to the core but I’ve also had friendships that taught me about what I deserve and what I want to give too. It’s been a life changing year I do have to say and as I sit here writing this on New Years Eve Eve, I can finally say that I’ve never been as excited as I am for the year ahead!
I’ve faced my fair share of struggles this year, emotionally, physically and mentally, my mental health took a big battering and in some ways having that is has helped me view the bigger picture, emotionally I felt unstable, like I was never good enough for any guy or any friend. Why did everything fall apart when it wasn’t supposed to? Well in life everything happens for a reason and the reason was to build me into a stronger happier person, who’s come out of 2018 the other side. Physically I have struggled massively this year, my immune system and my health in general has been at its lowest it has ever been, in 2018 ive had more doctors’ appointments than what feels like days in the week, I was rushed to hospital for an emergency operation, I’ve found out that I can no longer eat WHEAT, BARLEY OR RYE OR DAIRY, no more cake for me and I am definitely not going to say it’s been the easiest of journeys and I’m not going to say it hasn’t affected my mental health because it has.
That was the beginning of the year and low and behold here we are looking to the future reminiscing on the end of the year! The fact that even though it’s taken us a year to get to where we are, a special someone and I are finally in the best place we have ever been! The fact that I randomly just smile because of things he says or things he does, he really does show that he cares, this cringes me out a little bit but we are so good and I definitely the happiest I have ever felt, over this year I’ve been taught so many life lessons, self-care, how to love yourself, friendships who true and who’s not.
In the past 12 months I’ve learnt to love myself more, I’ve learnt to try an trust myself, believe I myself, it takes time and it’s a struggle, I’ve over-come a lot and I am definitely not saying 2019 s going to be any easier or any harder but I’m not facing it alone anymore, growing up I personally have always struggled with never being good enough however here we are no going in to 2019 the HAPPIEST I have EVER felt, I’m not quite ready to say I’m in love but I am definitely ready to say that I see a future together and I may finally be the adult I’ve always wanted to be and now I’m Sh** scared!
Here’s to the next 365 DAYS OF YOUR LIFE AND OH MY GOD AREN’T THEY GONG TO BE THE BEST!
Happy New Year and smash out those goals