2020; bring on the roaring TWENTIES...here's to the best decade of my life!
Holy mother of Jesus, 2020 is just around the corner, I repeat just around the corner and what a whirlwind of emotions, 2019… I’ve laughed with you, I’ve cried with you I almost died with you… what a crazy crazy year it has been, maybe one of my favourites but least favourite at the same time, how can that be? Well I have begun to create some of my fondest memories, my proudest moments and something I’ve never really done before, I began to love myself for who I am… I nearly died and that sent shock waves throughout my whole system I questioned my existence and well that changed my whole outlook on life.
Lets roll all the way back to the beginning to the beginning of 2019 and who some things can change in the space of week, my mental health was at an all-time low, and I couldn’t see a way out, I didn’t know how I felt nor could I understand the impact that my overwhelming ability to feel very very shit about myself continued to utterly overwhelm me… I had no friends, no one to talk to no one to see and all in all I am forever thankful for the opportunity that the deterioration of my mental health had on me. It has a hold of me and it continued to feel like I was always that continuous failure that I was growing up but little did I know that what happened at the beginning of the year would somehow change the ending of my last ever teenage years.
I dropped out of college, never in all my life would I have ever thought about dropping out of college, the education system wore me out my mental, physical and emotional health were all at risk and sometimes closing one door another opened, this changed everything! I started a new job and met some of the most incredible people I have ever met in all of my life, these people taught me so much more in six months than my previous job taught me in a year, I finally felt grounded and had the ability to settle, the ability to find that common ground between the people I worked with. So many memories were made in those six months from drunken nights out to the best rounders’ games going… I was poorly again… (new drinking games idea every time I’m poorly take a shot or down your drink… I promise you’ll be wasted) my health got worse and doctors didn’t understand why, I was doing everything, it got to a point where they wouldn’t know, and it felt like its your body… get used to it! I’m so over this crap now!!!
Many hours and days have been spent sitting in a hospital bed, having infusions or blood tests waiting on results and praying that just one day the world would fall right and it would be my turn to swiftly fall on my feet again, no Hun it does not happen like that… I can’t tell you where the last couple of months have gone but bloody hell they have flown by! But I suppose I should probably tell you why 2020 is going to be the best damn year this girl has ever seen because 2020 my friends all my hard work, dedication and love will finally slot into place, 2020 I know categorically will be a good year with thanks to the most incredible people who have loved, looked after, held my hand, taught me, changed me… it all happened at the end of November I know crazy, Chels and I went to a blogger event and once we came home I started to feel really unwell, to cut a long story short I was blue lighted to St Richards hospital with severe Sepsis, leading to sepsis shock, I’m not exaggerating when I say I nearly died! My whole life came tumbling down, I wasn’t ready to die I wasn’t ready I hadn’t done what I set out to achieve, I didn’t become a mum or a wife, or the business women I always dreamt of and most importantly I didn’t love myself, I didn’t love my body… with huge thanks to the paramedics Gem and Dom who looked after me, John and Bethany and the rest of the incredible team at St Richards hospital (I felt like I was in casualty !) who saved my life… I got a whole new perspective a new outlook on life and well to start 2020 off with a bang and end the decade with an explosion i walked nude in Sophie Teas nude catwalk, this is only the beginning of the new and improved “body confidence and body positivity blogger that I’m going to be… I want to be real and honest with you talk about unflattering angles and how if I eat one crumb of gluten, I expand that violet from Charlie and the chocolate factory! 2020 is going to be big, my YouTube is going to be insane and well the content is going to flow… loving myself didn’t become a task it became a right and its my right to love myself!
Watch out 2020 Verity’s turning 20 and its going to be crazy.
This time next year I’ll be a businesswomen. I’ll have the best memories and the most incredible stories to tell so here goes!